Speak to Me
by mfig
Summary: Buffy dies in a tragic accident leaving behind a widowed Wesley. Left only with her journal and bittersweet memories he must get to the bottom of the mystery that was the woman he loved.


**Speak To Me **

**Disclaimer: **The characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer do not belong to me. I'm just using them for a short while.

**Rating:** R

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**Summary:** Buffy dies in a tragic accident leaving behind a widowed Wesley. Left only with her journal and bittersweet memories he must get to the bottom of the mystery that was the woman he loved.

Wesley could feel the chill of the early morning working its way deep down to his weary soul. Looking over at Giles, the older watcher laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, urging him to keep moving forward. This was probably the hardest things they would both ever do, but it had to be done, they couldn't live with the doubt anymore.

Stopping outside a large metal door they waited for someone to buzz them in. Once inside an odd odor assaulted their sense immediately. They could both see the row of burnt bodies, lying on the floor, each covered up with white sheets, blood soaking through.

"Wesley, perhaps this isn't best. I can go ahead and identify her, you don't have to do this" Giles tried to somehow lighten his load. It wasn't every day that one had to go and identify their wife's body.

Although they weren't sure if it was truly Buffy, she had disappeared and anything at the moment could be a possibility.

"No Giles I have to do this. She was my wife and it's my place to do so", with that said he moved forward, stopping at the small body towards the end. His lips pursed as he removed the sheet. Slowly, inch by inch, a bloody burnt messed of a body lay before him. Closing his eyes he tried his best to hold off the tears, it was her. Her small frame or at least, what remained of it.

Turning around he walked over to the entrance where Giles stood waiting for him. Words weren't necessary, he already knew, anyone would after having witnessed the defeat that settled over Wesley.

Buffy was dead. There was nothing else to say.

Death had a way of brining things into perspective. It had for him, he wasn't sure if it had for Buffy. This wasn't her first death but it was definitely his last. No heroic sacrifice had led to this; her time had just been up.

Wesley stilled remembered their last minutes together. Her sweet smile and gentle touch as she kissed him goodbye would forever be imprinted upon his memory, just as the first and all that followed afterward were too. With each passing minute the actual reality of her death would sink further into him – bringing about strange feelings he had long thought himself incapable of feeling once more.

It was a slow doom that would hover over his soul, the same one that had inhabited him when Fred had been taken from him. That had hurt but he had been healed, who was to heal him now? Would he be? Or was he suppose to carry this pain inside of him for the rest of his life – wearing it like a silent badge of honor for loving the slayer with all of his being.

The funeral would be in a day or two; it was always done this way. Giles would take care of all the details, he needn't bother with that. He just wished, for one selfish moment, that the pain was someone else's…was that selfish of him?

**

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Ten years ago**

"Are you mad? Marriage! To the slayer?" his friend Richard had exclaimed at hearing Wesley's rather surprising announcement. One could definitely say that it had come out of nowhere.

"Yes I'm sure. Buffy and I have decided to wed" Wesley gentle voice was determined and calm, as if he were facing a new challenge. In a way it could be seen as that, Buffy was not an easy woman to understand – it had taken him years to finally get underneath the walls she put up and see the real woman that lay underneath it all.

He had liked what he had seen. She was soft, feminine, considerate, smart and very strong. The latter he had known, but the former had all been a delightful surprise to him. It had been a rough start for them. There were so many misconceptions that each held about the other – he was the annoying nerdy watcher from Sunnydale and she the stubborn spoiled slayer.

Working together day by day for five years had pushed them to open up to each other. Not only did they find an easy friendship but love began to blossom as well. Now they were about to wed and Wesley couldn't imagine being happier. He had come a long way from the shell of a man that had been resurrected by the Powers That Be after the big final show down in Los Angeles.

Not many had made it; he had been one of the unfortunate souls that had been spared. Forced to rebuild himself from the inside out he had found himself facing some harsh truths. Buffy had swept into his life at a crucial point, somewhere in between the man he was now and the man he had once been. She was a part of him now and would forever linger in his very being.

Their union was not only one blessed by man but also by destiny – she was made for him and he for her.

Getting up from his overstuffed chair Wesley moved around the house he and Buffy had just purchased a few months ago. Some boxes still remained unpacked and he doubted that would change any time soon.

Everything that surrounded him was a constant reminder of her, there was no way he was going to be strong enough to reside in the house – not when every single inch screamed out her name. Especially when all lay the same way she had left it – her white cotton nightgown thrown over her reading chair in their bedroom, her lotions lined up along the edge of the bathtub and her laptop on her bedside table.

Closing her eyes he could somehow transport himself to their last night together, those were the memories that hurt the most….

**

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**

**Four days ago**

"This is house is huge! I can't wait to start decorating it "Buffy exclaimed as she sat Indian style on their bed, her laptop opened up in front of her. Wesley looked up from where he had been lying behind her. He couldn't get over all the energy her tiny body possessed. It had been a long day for them, having had to travel five towns over in order to meet up with a potential slayer that had been activated. The poor girl had been scared to death about her new powers, needing them both to come and explain what being a potential slayer meant. In the end she had felt better, but not by much, it was a tough thing to swallow – being given such a powerful destiny at such a young age.

Closing his eyes he smiled over at his wife and stretched a bit more on the bed. Soon he would somehow have to muster up the energy to make it to the bathroom and into the shower. Then he could crawl into bed and descend into bliss with his Buffy by his side. There love was a calm one – passion existed but at its time, for the most part they enjoyed the small pleasures of their intimacy.

Getting up finally he started his journey to the shower, he could hear Buffy quietly typing away in her journal. Stopping by the bathroom door he looked back her, her reading glasses slipping a bit down her nose – she wasn't as young as she once had been. Although she still possessed a radiant glow about her.

This Buffy was different, it was the one he had fallen in love with fifteen years ago. The teenage he had once known was gone entirely. What not existed was a rational, spirited woman who loved her destiny instead of resenting it. That's why she would catalogue everything that had to do with her work and their family. Storing all her treasure memories in her small laptop – there was not one moment that wasn't neatly cataloged and saved in there.

As for him, he too had changed. He was surer of himself now, his life was good and the uncertainty that always hovered around him no longer existed. Life was what it was and he had to accept that. Now he had his love by his side and he was determined to just ride it out, see what came his way. Whatever it was he would receive it with her by his side – his strength and love.

**To Be Continued **


End file.
